Contrary yet Simultaneous

I'm sitting in Common Grounds (a coffee shop at Biola), sipping at my perfectly heated London Fog, and reading Edmund Burke's Reflection on the Revolution in France, and it hits me: I'm not frantically running around right now! I often characterize my life as one which is always moving, always busy, never really at rest. But, this morning, as I became aware of the fact that I was calmly sitting and reading and sipping, it brought a slight smile to my face.

The life God has given me here at Biola is so incredibly beautiful. I love my job. I love my friends. I love (for the most part, hehe) my classes. I am blessed.

I love that I can sit in a coffee shop at 10:07 in the morning on a Thursday and hear Sufjan Stevens in the speakers, and look around at all of the happy coffee shop people reading and talking with their friends.

Amidst the things that I love are things that cause me pain. Sick grandparents, siblings going through hard times. It's sad. God is showing me the rightness of feeling two emotions simultaneously that seem contrary in nature: joy and sorrow. Isn't it interesting how we can both feel incandescently happy and detrimentally downcast at the same time? I think so. The good thing is, for us who have come to life in Christ, the knowledge of our salvation should be enough to cause a joy that puts our sorrow to shame.

All that to say, I'm happy. I'm resting. My day will be busy, don't doubt that. But it will be a day that began with rest. Thank you, Lord, for showing me the little things you love to show me.

Just Ask

Well, I've been back at Biola for exactly one week now.

And what a week is has been.

Making new friends. Seeing old ones. Laughing. Crying. Reading. Sleeping. Working, Resting. Praying. Praising.

I'm exhausted, but it is such a rich exhaustion, developed as a result of doing good things all week long with good people.

I've officially decided to change my 'policy' from posting everyday (which I became very poor at near the end of the summer anyways), to once a week. This blog helped me so much this summer; when I felt that there wasn't much to be thankful for amidst the pain, God showed His face, and taught me to praise Him every day for His blessings, both big and small.

So, what am I thankful for today? So many things.

Today, at church, the pastor preached on prayer. He summarized his sermon by saying this:

"In light of God's promises, ask big. Despite disappointments, keep asking."

God used this one-liner to convict me of my lack of prayer about the big things in my life, and really challenge me to faithfully pray for those who I have not prayed for as much as I should. The promises that the preacher was referring to are found in the Gospel According to John, when Jesus is giving His last words to His disciples before His death on the cross. Jesus says,

"Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it." - John 14:13-14 ESV

Did you catch that "anything"? I did. 'Anything' is a lot of things. This means that absolutely nothing is too big for God to handle, or too small. Sometimes, we don't want to 'bother' God with what we perceive to be trivial matters, but He cares for us and wants us to come to Him as a child goes to their father to ask them to open up the bottle they cannot. A simple request, yes, but an amazing picture of a child's dependence on their father, and our dependence on our Heavenly Father. The other side of the coin is true as well. Sometimes life's situations are so overwhelming, it's easy to not pray about them, because then you don't have to think about them. This is not what God wants. He wants us to take our problems to Him, tell Him we don't know what to do, and then wait for instructions. Today, the pastor shared a quote from his wife that said,

"Prayer is our declaration of dependence on God."

The 'power of prayer' isn't what is important. It's the power of the God who hears our prayers.

So, today I am thankful that I know and serve the God who not only created the universe, but sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for my sins, and allows me, by His amazing grace, to seek Him and His perfect will, day by day.

God listens to your prayers. All of them. Rest in that.

Peace is Possible

I know that I haven't posted in a few days, and it's not that I can't find things to be thankful for, it's just that life gets crazy and exhausting and it's hard to sit down and write amidst it all.

But, here I am, sitting and writing. Life is still crazy and exhausting, but I'm writing.

This morning my dad, sister, and I went for a walk through a park near our apartment. The sun was shining, baseball teams composed of middle-aged men were playing, and the ducks were waddling. There was a park bench at the top of a grassy hill that you could sit on and see the tippy-top of the mountains in the distance. There was a playground with a tire swing that my dad swung my sister on, and swings that she and I competed to see who could swing the highest on.

I was at peace. Even in the midst of a crazy and exhausting life, this morning in the park was proof that peace is possible.